Tennis star Serena Williams yells at an official at the U.S. Open, "I swear to God I'm [expletive] going to take this [expletive] ball and shove it down your [expletive] throat, you hear that? I swear to God."

South Carolina Congressman Joe Wilson yells out “You lie” during President Obama’s address to a joint session of Congress.

Singer Kanye West storms the stage at the MTV Music Video Awards, takes the microphone from Taylor Swift to announce that “Beyonce has one of the best videos of all time.”

WVU fans show up at Mountaineer football games wearing tee-shirts that read, “West F------ Virginia.”

Mix these instances in with the daily milieu of aggressive drivers, cell phone and text usage, the absence of “please” and “thank you” and dozens of other kinds of rude behavior and it’s no wonder that Dr. P.M. Forni sees civility on the decline.

Forni studies social behavior, particularly civility, manners and politeness in society.  In 1997, the native of Italy co-founded the Johns Hopkins Civility Project.  His book, “Choosing Civility: The Twenty-File Rules of Considerate Conduct,” is considered one of the leading publications on the nature of a civil society.

Civility, as Forni defines it, “is a form of benevolence.  We are civil when we are aware of others.”  But Forni says the problem is that too many of us are ignoring the fact that we are sharing space and day-to-day activities with others. 

Forni, who, as you might expect, is unfailing polite, told me on the phone this week that he believes we have fostered this self-centeredness by overdosing our children on self-esteem.

“As a society we have been very good in the past few generations at instilling self-esteem in our children,” Forni says.  “We have not done as well at teaching our children self-restraint and the ability to transcend their own immediate needs and desires to tend to the needs and desires of others.”

The result:  Too many people believe the world revolves around them.  If someone is self-absorbed, Forni explains, it’s hard for them to be considerate of others.  We are too busy getting our own needs met to worry about anybody else.

“Our personal goals mean everything to us,” Forni says.  “What other people think of us means very little too us.  Since we care little what others think of us, we have little incentive to treat them with consideration and with respect.”

So we fly off the handle, threaten others, wear obscene shirts, shout the “F” word with children around, cut off other motorists in traffic, blast our conversations on cell phones, leave manners to our grandparents, shout at each other on talk radio and cable TV and then we wonder why everyone seems so angry.

Forni worries that the decline in benevolent behavior has broader implications.  “Civilization cannot survive the demise of civility,” he says. “How can you have a democratic government if you cannot have discourse with civil disagreement?” Forni asks.

That’s a topic worth discussing, although it’s uncertain we can have it without a fracas erupting.